Breaking up with a loved one, or being broken up with is a difficult thing to face. It’s okay not to know how to move on immediately after the love you depended on is gone. No matter how long you were with your significant other, you might feel angry, sad, confused, and downright debilitating but, no relationship is perfect.

Moving on and letting go of a dysfunctional relationship is crucial to find happiness within yourself. Start by surrounding yourself with supportive people, rebuilding your finances, practicing self-care, and establishing boundaries for yourself. Let’s dive deeper into these four steps below on how to move on healthily after leaving your codependent relationship.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Finding support in the right places is crucial in helping you move on. Lean on friends, family, co-workers, or other significant people in your life if possible. After a breakup, it’s important to surround yourself with loved ones and keep busy. Go out to dinner, have a movie night, go on a mini road trip, or just spend time with loved ones to help keep your mind occupied.

You should also consider attending therapy. Find a support group or attend individual counseling to help process your feelings, learn to move on, grieve, and talk through your codependency history. Not only will it help you move forward, but you’ll also gain a sense of control over your life, heal past trauma, and learn to trust again. Having an open and supportive environment is a great resource to allow you to share issues that are concerning you from your past relationship.

Rebuild Your Finances

If you relied on your ex-partner financially, no need to stress. Rebuilding your financial situation is a great way to move on and gain back control of your life. Start by creating a list of short-term and long-term financial goals. Short-term goals might include moving away from your ex, establishing a budget, and becoming financially independent. Long-term goals to set for yourself may be buying a home, finding a new job that pays more or start investing your money to set yourself up for success after retirement.

If you lived under the same roof as your former partner, you should find a new place to start fresh as soon as possible. If you relied solely on your partner for financial support and you’re not sure how you’re going to afford a place of your own, no worries as there are plenty of resources out there. If possible, stay with a friend or family member until you can get back on your feet. If you need a place of your own right away, consider finding an apartment or a home of your own to purchase. Perhaps your financial history is not the best, but you have a limited amount of time to find a new place to live, consider looking into FHA loan qualifications. FHA loans come with lower credit score requirements, flexible borrowing options, shorter waiting periods, and down payment options of as little as 3.5% down. No matter how you do it, distancing yourself from your ex is crucial as long as you’re doing it safely and taking care of yourself.

Practice Self-Care

After a breakup, you must find things that make you happy and take care of yourself. Practicing self-care is prioritizing yourself, checking in with your mental health, and overall doing what’s best for you. You can do this by eating healthy, staying active, being mindful, eliminating stressors, and finding new hobbies. Hobbies that may interest you could be reading books, cooking, baking, yoga, meditation, painting, or journaling.

No matter what you do, as long as you’re improving and working on yourself every day, you’ll be one step closer to setting yourself up for success. You should also avoid jumping into another relationship right away to give yourself time to grow, heal, and become the best version of yourself. Learning how to be on your own is the best way to learn how to become independent.

Establish Boundaries

You must establish healthy boundaries for yourself while you’re healing from your breakup. Putting yourself first is the main thing you should be prioritizing. Your feelings, thoughts, worries, and everything else that is going on in your life must be a priority. Being in a codependency relationship, you might’ve fallen into a routine of people-pleasing all the time. The only person you should be pleasing is yourself. Learn how to say no, especially if it’s not helping you grow as a person.

Lastly, you must distance yourself from your ex-partner. Lose all forms of communication with them to allow yourself to heal and move forward without them. To help you move on, consider throwing away anything that reminds you of them, such as any belongings you might have of theirs, pictures, or gifts. This may be difficult but it’ll only help you in the long run.

If you have been assaulted, threatened, or need someone to talk to, the Rape Crisis Center is here to support you. Call our 24/7 hotline at (210) 349-7273 to speak with someone about how we can help.